Are We Christians Selfish?

It's a long time since I've posted here, for which I apologise to anybody that might concern. But I'm back with a bang, as the saying goes.

One thought which recurs to me over and again is of the Christian ideal of selflessness. Or to put it another way, of trying not to be selfish. We strive, or so we ought, to help our fellow man. To give to charity, to provide for those less fortunate than ourselves. Indeed many Christians give up what might otherwise have been a life of prosperity to spread God's word and to fulfil His wonderful mission.

So by what right do I introduce the notion that we might be selfish?

The thought took root when I found myself pondering, again, the question of Heaven and Hell. We Christians try to live good lives, but why do we try to live good lives?

We seek to help others, but why do we seek to help others?

Is it because we aspire to be judged favourably and thus to enter the Kingdom of Heaven? And if so could not our motivations be said to be a little - dare I say it - selfish? Does not the whole notion of seeking one's own salvation, albeit by doing good, not fundamentally conflict with the whole ethos of putting others before ourselves?

I am not trying to be contentious or awkward, far less am I seeking to undermine the excellent work that so many do in God's name and in the pursuance of that which is good. If I could be half as dedicated as some of those people I would be a better person than I am now.

But it is still something I find myself reflecting upon. Does anybody feel the urge to reassure me?

God's will or free will?

Jesus taught us that our fate is God's will, and that there is not hair on our head that we can change without Him determining that it should be so.

Nonetheless without an element of freewill the whole concept of salvation, or for that matter damnation, is meaningless. If we have no influence over our own thoughts and deeds, then we have no responsibility for them and it is absurd to suggest that we might be judged upon them.

In short, God gives us freewill to determine the extent of our commitment to Him. He directs us but does not compel us. At some point in our lives we all receive the sign, but it is down to us to act upon it.

Let me put it a different way. Yesterday my Church held its traditional Harvest Supper & Quiz. Ordinarily I am Quizmaster. And yet for some reason I completely forgot about it and failed to turn up, leaving my Pastor to pick up the pieces at short notice.

Was it God's will that I should neglect my duty and let everybody down? Or am I just a forgetful pillock? Discuss.

Heavens Above

Ever wondered what Heaven is actually like?

Well, the bad news is I don't actually know the answer. But I have my own theory, and it has its roots in a brief experience I once had.

Many people have related what they describe as an "Out of Body Experience", in which they claim to have floated outside their own bodies and, in some case, looked down and actually seen themselves.

Please don't consider me mad, but I had one of these experiences many years back - very briefly. There was no operating table - I simply rose from my bed for literally a few seconds. Although at the time I was only in my thirties, I suffer from a condition known as sleep apnea which can in extreme circumstances be life-threatening as on occasions one is unable to catch one's breath during sleep. It is possible that, having missed a breath or two, I lost consciousness (well I was asleep anyway, but you know what I mean).

The interesting point to this story is that when I left my body and begun to float, my partner (now wife) was with me and she was floating too. Now I think the chances of her having momentarily "died" at the same time as me are pretty slim. She doesn't even suffer from the condition. So she wasn't really floating, but to me she was - if you know what I'm saying.

I've long believed that time is a concept which probably doesn't exist in the hereafter. When I died, she died with me. Even though in the mortal world I was still alive, on Earth, with her.

This got me thinking about the nature of Heaven. Nobody seems to have a precise handle on how many Clubcard points one needs to collect to be accepted into the gates, but it struck me as a pretty lousy deal if I made it in yet all those I love - my wife, my children, my parents, my sibling, my friends - fail to make it and I never see any of them ever again. Similarly I have found myself reflecting upon how unfair it must be to spend all eternity as a new-born baby, unaware of what is going on all around, as somebody with a severe disability or as a frail, elderly person with dementia.

There can only be one answer to all this, and we find it in our dreams. Our loved ones are there for us, how we want them to be. We control the moment. And in our loved ones' dreams we may simultaneously be somewhere else, doing something different.

Just think about the concepts of infinity and eternity, those qualities of the universe that we just cannot understand. And then think about dreams, and what they represent, and how we can sometimes influence them. When your loved ones are with you in a certain place in your dreams, at the same time you are with them in a different place in theirs. Is it so completely off the scale to regard those dreams as a taste of Heaven (or indeed Hell)?

Sometimes in my dreams I am not married. Or I have no children. Everybody's entitled to a break. Imagine doing everything you want to do, for hours or even weeks on end, and then returning at the same point as you left ready to do something else, or to go some other place. Imagine being able to do that for ever. That, in my vision, is Heaven.

Simon Peter's human failings and faith

I found myself pondering some of the words and deeds of Simon Peter as told in the Gospel of Matthew this morning.

Peter was told by Jesus (26:34) that he would deny him three times before the cock crowed in the morning (some choose to enter into a frankly irrelevant discussion about how many time the cock "crew" - surely the essential part of the story is Peter's denial of Jesus?).

And indeed he did. Then, as he heard the rooster call, he remembered what Jesus had said to him and "went outside and wept bitterly".

Earlier in Matthew (14:22-33) one reads of how the disciples saw Jesus walking across the waters of the lake towards their boat, where they had strayed into trouble. Jesus asked Peter to leave the boat and walk out towards him, which he did. At first Peter was actually able to do as he had been instructed, then he panicked and began to sink. Jesus famously remarked about his "little faith".

What can we learn from this, both about Simon Peter and, just as importantly, about ourselves?

It is tempting to conclude from these events that Peter the man lacked courage. And yet one must always put oneself into his position before dismissing him as a faintheart. Just how would we have reacted, given the same circumstances?

Furthermore, on both occasions it was Peter who ventured forth. Not so the other disciples. Peter did at least try. He may have denied Jesus, but he accompanied him at least when fear and danger were all around. And he tried - and in fact succeeded, momentarily at least - to walk upon the water when encouraged to by Jesus.

It is not without good reason that Jesus told Peter he was the rock upon which his church would be built. He was only human, subject to human failings and frailties, but he perceived his duty to be at Jesus' side, and in spite of his understandable fear he felt he had a duty to walk with Jesus and to protect him. As such he had a sense of duty which was possibly less evident in his fellow disciples.

I believe Peter displayed qualities that are what is best in us, but also that the story highlights our own mortal weaknesses. It put clear blue water (no pun intended) between the Messiah and those who followed him. One divine and the other ordinary, capable of good things but also vulnerable and sometimes lacking in faith. It is to Peter's credit that he recognised his failings, indeed they reduced him to tears.

Why Holy Joe?

Why indeed? My name isn't Joe and I'm not outstandingly holy. Indeed, let me tell you a little bit about myself and where I'm coming from before I begin.

I am a Christian living in the UK. I am a member of a congregation, not a minister, in a small non-conformist Church in the UK. Whilst I'm comfortable in my Christian beliefs I am no theologian. Neither am I fanatic. I enjoy a beer from time to time, have a flutter on the Grand National and have even been known to lose my temper and utter rude words. I am far from many people's notion of perfectION.

So why blog about Christianity? Well, I guess I thought somebody ought to. More precisely I mean somebody who isn't going to lecture; somebody whose calling isn't to analyse and scrutinise the finer points of theological argument. There is a place for that, but it isn't here. Holy Joe is about writing and (hopefully) debating the everyday aspect of Christian experience.

When people ask me how an intelligent person can believe in God, and the Resurrection, I reply by pointing to two aspects of our existence which no human being has even been able to rationally explain. Those aspects are Infinity and Eternity. To put it simply, where does the universe end and what is beyond that end? And when did the universe begin and what was there before that? Sure, a couple of guys have managed to draw up mathematical equations which are supposed to explain it all, but they don't. Whilst many scientists like to pretend otherwise, these are two concepts that it is impossible for the human intellect to properly comprehend. Try it for a moment and see for yourself.

I've no doubt Holy Joe will start off slowly, with me posting my thoughts to a readership in equal parts silent and non-existent. But I would like to invite comment and debate and, in good time and with God's blessing, turn this humble venture into a thriving centre of discussion.

I hope you enjoy the site, please feel free to add your comments. Post about anything you like. If your comments are not rude or offensive I will publish them.